I hear the low hum and thump of the dryer running.
I should be sleeping but there are too many thoughts in my head.
I can hear the cat purring.
I listen to my breaths go in and out.
The high-pitched tones in my ears overtake the layers of chaotic thoughts for a brief moment.
Questions with no answers.
Fear of things known and unknown.
I am exhausted with my eyes wide open.
…after dreaming of cuddly puppies and fluffy kittens I awoke to realize I fell asleep before I hit “post”…
He watches me dance
back and forth behind the wall…
and he still loves me.
Growth through naiveté.
Jumping and dancing and flying.
Tripping and falling and crying.
Time spent behind the wall.
A nudge, a smile…
Not enough wine in the world… I am so weary.
Tonight I realized that I ask a lot of questions. Why do I do this? 😉
I ask people questions and wait for the answer. I ask rhetorical questions to get people thinking…or get myself thinking. I ask questions I don’t know or don’t want to know the answer to and I ask questions about nonsensical bullshit that doesn’t matter. So, what the fuck is my point? Am I being adorable or annoying? Intelligent or ridiculous? What difference does it make and who even cares?
I do ask myself a lot of questions. I think that is okay…except for the times when I over-analyze in order to answer the question. Maybe I need to set up a boundary for myself and this asking question nonsense.
Situation: A thought, problem or question occurs. I will limit myself to 3 questions regarding motivation & meaning behind the thought and resolution to the thought. Then, I must move on.
I’ll try it—
Okay, I just spent 20 minutes thinking of 100 topics that I have issue with and 6 thousand questions for each topic, so this is not going to work today or ever.
I’ll try again.
Example: The little babies that get thrown into the pool just open their eyes and learn to swim because they don’t know to be afraid of the water yet. Q1: When do we grow up to be afraid? Q2: How does this relate to the things I fear in my life today? Q3: Why doesn’t the chlorine burn their eyes like it does mine?
Okay, moving on.
I have more questions to ask and ponder but to what avail?
Me: I posted on Facebook last night. People were commenting and texting me asking if I wanted to come over or making suggestions on how to fix my situation.
Me: Well, I was trying to be witty and entertaining.
Ev: I guess you should have put it on your blog instead.
Me: The blog, yes! No one on the blog gives a shit!