Today

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Today, I sang at the funeral of a stranger.  I watched them close the lid on the casket, I listened to the pastor read her obituary, and heard him tells stories of her and mention that she had told him, “Live each day to the fullest.”  I wept.  At first I felt silly and embarrassed—I didn’t know her.  Then, I felt relief.  I felt relief that I am able to feel things deeply and have an empathetic spirit.  Also, I felt relief that I am able to shed tears while on my new meds.  I was afraid that I was going to feel better but not be able to feel.

Today, I changed my plan.  I made brave decisions and re-arranged the course of my history.  Which is just a fancy way to say that I called off work to have a “me” day instead of an “all the rest of y’all” day.

Today, I will write, read, walk, and nap.

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