I saw a glimpse of my future self today. I did not like it. She said things that I have said, felt things that I felt, and she has now ended up old and alone. “I didn’t think it was worth trying again after all that,” she said. And then she laughed. I laughed when she laughed.
My mind was cluttered with thoughts and questions—not for her but for myself. Somehow the laughter made things easier for her–as it does for me.
There is a song about that and I’ve never truly understood why I have disliked it until today.
“Smile, though your heart is aching…smile, even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by…”
What a giant pile of horse shit. But, it’s what I do.