Why is it so ridiculous and awful to let others see us in pain? We might seem weak? So fucking what? I just showed a glimpse of emotion and vulnerability to someone and now I feel completely stupid. It shouldn’t even matter. I’m not a fucking robot. I have a squished-up, stepped-on heart, but I HAVE a fucking heart.
I know that being vulnerable is tricky. But, when it rears its ugly head out of nowhere…when I don’t plan—[Okay, I’m a planner. So fucking what? And, if I plan to be vulnerable and get hurt, then at least I’ve considered the outcome and I’m not blind-sided when stupid shit happens]—so when I don’t plan, and the inevitable happens, I feel like I’ve been knocked down and kicked in the stomach.