I woke up this morning and it was still dark outside. I could hear the birds chatting and singing, their music getting louder and louder. I felt grateful that I was smiling instead of feeling irritated that the noise of the bird songs were why I was no longer asleep. Then it happened.
What’s on the agenda today, where am I supposed to be, how long is my list, why does my neck still hurt, I need to get up and go workout, why can’t I train the cats to bring me coffee in bed, will I ever find a job, I need to paint the trim downstairs, I hope it’s nice outside so I can work on the yard, why am I still in bed, where am I going today, I need to go to the grocery store, I should go to the library today get that book and check out the art exhibit, I will not order pizza today, why is bread so delicious, am I supposed to be somewhere now, why do I think so hard, why aren’t the birds singing, did something happen to the birds, oh my God something happened to all the birds, that’s stupid nothing happened to all the birds, but why aren’t they singing, maybe you just can’t hear them, stop thinking and listen.
Listen. Breathe. Listen. Breathe again. Listen.
And the birds were singing as they do, chatting and making music.
I can’t believe the birds were singing the whole time, I thought they were gone because I couldn’t hear them, why do I think so much, am I supposed to be somewhere, coffee sounds good, I need to drink my water first, what time is it, I need to practice my music, I should get up, I wonder if—oh geez, the birds are gone again, stop thinking and listen.
Deeeeeeep Breath. Listen.
The birdsongs return and I smile. Why is it so difficult to just be still?