Potential.  This word does not have positive connotations for me.  It feels like it means:  you are not; you could be, but you are not; you are not enough. 

I spent a lot of years hearing the words, “You have potential.”  Now that I’m sitting here so many years later, with time on my hands and in the mood to write, I have decided that I’m done with this “potential” nonsense.   Those words were a manipulation by a bully to keep me in the land of “I can do better…I can be better…things will be okay when I am better.” 

In another lifetime, when it was implied that I could do better, I would reply, “I’m doing the best I can.”  This bully would tell me, “That just means that your best is not good enough.”  For a while, I believed that, so I just tried harder.    

I am not special…we have all had to deal with a bully or two or more in life.  It sucks.  It is hard.  And it is so heart-breaking. 

My point?  Not sure I have one.  But writing is cheaper than therapy. 

I am me.  I am.  Enough or not, this is me. 


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