Potential. This word does not have positive connotations for me. It feels like it means: you are not; you could be, but you are not; you are not enough.
I spent a lot of years hearing the words, “You have potential.” Now that I’m sitting here so many years later, with time on my hands and in the mood to write, I have decided that I’m done with this “potential” nonsense. Those words were a manipulation by a bully to keep me in the land of “I can do better…I can be better…things will be okay when I am better.”
In another lifetime, when it was implied that I could do better, I would reply, “I’m doing the best I can.” This bully would tell me, “That just means that your best is not good enough.” For a while, I believed that, so I just tried harder.
I am not special…we have all had to deal with a bully or two or more in life. It sucks. It is hard. And it is so heart-breaking.
My point? Not sure I have one. But writing is cheaper than therapy.
I am me. I am. Enough or not, this is me.